qingx

i don't know how should i react

what should i do

how should i feel

why am i so obsessed to be proper

i guess the tendency to just blend in is a natural instinct

i dont wanna stand out

i just wanna blend in

be like everybody else

be normal

be accepted

i feel so odd

i feel like i don't belong anywhere

at all

what is your plan for me god?

why are there so many choices

i am so unhappy

so very unhappy

i wish i'm not like this

the weightatge of the decisions i have to make

it scares me

please help me. . .

qingx

been having a rough day

sometimes i get so emotional

and my actions can be driven by raw emotions

and seeing the aftermath would bring a wave of regret and guilt sweeping me off

i wish somebody would pump confidence in me

i don't deserve anybody

because people who wants in would find it hard to stay in

and they would frustrate themselves for not being able to stay in

but little do they know that

it is impossible to stay in

its not their faults

its just mine

i am not happy

i need a friend

qingx

What do you do,

if the person you love

and the person you're happy with

are not the same person?

. . .

qingx

I don't think coming online is healthy for me anymore

I see a lot of happy and successful and pretty and rich and etc people online

I feel very inferior

I'm not happy

qingx

tangan banyak gatal

I have this strong urge to cut my hair really short

but. . .

MUST. . . NOT . .. . CUT. . .. .

argh!!!

I need a change in my very dysfunctional life.